Happy Birthday And I'm A Miracle!
I've spent more than half of my life in pain. Some kind of pain in my body or in my heart. And while this article isn't written to hope you'll somehow feel sorry for me, I do want to make a really big statement here that many of you might not realize, it is nothing short of a miracle for me to be where I'm at today.
Since I was 4 years old I've battled illness. Even preschool was hard for me. Didn't get much better in K-6. Junior high was especially painful and that's when hospital visits began. Fast forward into my child raising years and pain became my constant compainion. Pain in my body and pain in my heart. So how did I get to where I am today?
Living through horrific trauma, unfairness, illness and more was not the life that God chose for me. Don't buy into the agenda of a religious spirit and think that somehow God has 'called' some to suffer and some to soar. That's a doctrine from the pit of hell where the one who fears Christ lives.
We are all designed to live a free life. I believe we are all created to soar! But along the path, people intersect and pain crosses pain and suffering due to sin creates havoc where God never intended it to grow. Some people ask me how I can believe in a loving God after I've lived such a life of pain. Because His great love is truly the only thing that set me free.
Free from the pain of my past and the torment in my body. He's miraculously healed me when the doctors gave up all hope. He's incredibly healed me when I was willing to go through all the layers and made a commitment to rise above a plan of just coping. He's such a good Savior.
When love enters a heart the DNA changes. The life line rises. The red and white blood cells take a turn and life changes. Does this mean that all disease leaves and all pain retreats and there is never any suffering again? In an ideal world, yes. But we live in a fallen world with a living Savior. We live in a struggling world with an empowering God. Which means we live our lives in a crease.
A crease between all that is good and all that is evil. A tension between all that is in earth and all that is in heaven. It is inside of this tension that I have found restoration, revelation and renewal. It's in this tension that I find a way in the darkness, light in the pain and hope in the journey.
People ask me all the time to share my story. How can these details ever be shared indepth? There's so much. So much pain as a little girl. A gang rape in my twenties. Kicked out of religious churches until I was almost convinced that life with God was just like the hell life without God was. Almost.
Never feeling like I fit in and never wanting to do so. A rule breaker, a warrior and a dreamer.
I'm a miracle. And so are you. Don't take one day for granted.
How do I stay inspired and keep going and work through even a few health challenges now? Because Jesus loves me, this I truly do know. Peeling back more layers. Rebuilding the foundations. Shifting the plates and building on new ground. When you've been where I've traveled and lived to tell about it, your faith grows. I honestly never thought I'd hit my 50th birthday. My funeral was being planned in my thirties. I had no clue what social media was back then and Mark Zuckerberg was just a little guy. heeheeheee It's SUCH a wonderful life!
The world changes. Things shift. When we least expect it the heaviest burden we carry is lifted and we see things move, within the tension, within the crease.
You don't have to have all the pieces figured out but what you must do is learn how to resist. Life is not a playground, it's a battle field. And YOUR life is worth fighting for!
Happy birthday to me! WOOOHOOO!
Thanks for reading my blog, following me on Facebook and Twitter and Pinterest and InstaGram. Thanks for making my life so much richer because you are a part of it.
With love,
Sandi Krakowski
